Sins

Hello, Friends.

Come in close for this one, Y'all.
It's gonna get all kinds of real all up in here!

I need to make a confession.

I am a comparer.

I have made a habit all of my life of comparing myself to others.

This has been done on many different levels, of course.

I have compared my physical looks to those of others, always finding myself envious of other women's skin, bodies, smiles, teeth, hair, weight, etc.

P.S. this is a bit of a downer for the 'ole self-esteem.

I have compared my situation to those of others, always finding myself envious of other people's financial status, homes, cars, vacations, clothes, etc.

P.S. not an upper for the 'ole self-esteem.

I have also compared my relationship status' to others, always wondering how it is that out of a billion katrillion people in the world, I can't find a one that thinks I'm okay enough.

P.S. this will eventually require you to be on anti-depressants.

However, recently (and as part of my addiction) I began comparing myself to others in different ways.

I would say to myself, "How can other people call ME a bad mother when that woman just a few doors down is in and out of jail and her great-grandma has to raise the kids?" OR "People call ME a bad mother, but my kids are not going door-to-door asking for food like the kids over there." OR "What is their definition of bad mom when I feed my kids, shelter them, go to their medical and school appointments, and do all of this all on my own?"

Alert: Any comparison at all is pride/ego.

It doesn't matter what kind of comparing you're doing. If you're doing it, it's prideful.

However, here is where things are about to get real.

Even more real than they just were.

There are people in my life who love to have conversations about me and everything that is wrong with me simply to be able to do it.

Now, in their minds they might believe that they are just answering questions of others, or updating other family members, or trying to figure out ways to help me...

What they don't realize is that my story is not their story to tell.

If loved ones of addicts want to help, they can come directly to the addict and sit with them and ask what they can do to help.

They can offer to attend meetings with them.

They can offer support verbally.

They can send a card, expressing love.

They can study and research addiction.

There are SO many resources!

I want to give an example of what TO DO:

Sunday night, we were at my mom's house for dinner.

Several extended family members arrived.

My three boys and I were there as well.

My aunt was there from California.

As soon as she walked in, she walked over to me and gave me the biggest hug.

She said nothing about my addiction.

Later, after people were done eating, she came over and sat by me.

She asked me simply, "How are you doing?"

Then, she listened.

Done.

She took the TIME to come to me and ask me how I was.

Then, she listened.

No judgement.

No critique.

No over-talking.

Just listening.

When we left, she was the only one to get up to give me a hug goodbye.

Again, she told me she loved me and to take care.

Our sins are no greater or lesser than any other human being.

Our worth and our value is no greater or lesser than any other human being.

My sins are out there for everyone to see.

I am an addict.

An outspoken addict.

Take just a minute to think about how hard it would be for you to check in with sponsors every single morning, telling them everything that you have and have not done.

Would you be willing/able to do that?

I love addicts.