Get Back Up

Christmas Eve, I found myself really struggling with an onset of a lot of different emotions.

I worked until 1 pm, then went home and went right to my bed.

When Braxton got home, he came in and asked me what was wrong.

I just only knew that I was feeling "depressed."

He told me to take a nap and that if I was still asleep, he would do Christmas Eve traditions with Brothers, and not wake me.

I couldn't believe that I was struggling on Christmas Eve!

I laid in bed for a time.

Then, I got up.

I got up!

I went to the gym before it closed.

I walked and I stretched and I squatted and I did breathing exercises.

When I left, I felt a tiny bit better.

I stopped by the store and ran into my Kaydon, who Braxton sent to get some last minute things.

As we walked around the store together, we talked about how both of us are feeling.

Having Brooklyn over was such a combination of emotions:

Joyful, Exciting, Love, Glee, Anxiety, Sadness, Grief, Emptiness.

Having Jackson in Chile during the holiday has brought on a combination of emotions:

Pride, Gratitude, Happiness, Sadness, Anxiety, some Grief.

Doing holidays differently now has brought on a combination of emotions:

Gratitude, Relief, Fear, Sadness, Anger, Gratitude, Harmony, Love.

For a girl who has just started feeling in the last six months, that is a lot to deal with.

We have really started talking about feelings in our home.

I am quick to ask my children how they FEEL and then to talk about it in different situations.

When Kaydon and I got home, we opened our Christmas Eve pajamas from my mom.

We ate some pizza.

Mama went to bed.

Kaydon and Colton stayed up watching movies.

Braxton set up shop downstairs so that he could take care of his Santa duties.

We got back up.

We always do.