Get Up

Boundaries are HARD.

I feel that they are especially hard with family.

And, how do we set boundaries?
Is all boundary-setting worthy of a sit-down conversation?

NO!

I was privy to a group text (the world's best communication ever).

The group text began with an invitation to join a group face-time.

The group text then included some sarcastic remarks.

Follow that up with a text that asked for "respect."

THAT was someone asking for a boundary.

That text was then followed up by a whole lot of texts that were not even on topic.

They were hurtful to some. They created anger for some. They were shocking to others. They were perceived as unnecessary to others.

It was a mess.

When breaking it down, one person asked for a boundary by asking for "respect" from others.

Others perceived the request for respect as disrespectful.

Others perceived those two comments as an opening to air all of their feelings from the time they were little.

There were personal attacks included.

There were rebuttals.

There was lashing out.

There was a lot of hurt.

The idea of setting boundaries was a whole lot foreign to me when I began my journey of therapy.

I felt that setting boundaries was rude or mean or selfish.

It's not.

Guys, it's not!

It's necessary.

And there are so many ways to do it.

Examples:

1. Please don't call us after 8 pm unless it's an actual emergency. We will be in bed.

2. Please be respectful with the words you use.

3. We only discuss our family in our home, unless there is neglect or abuse.

4. Stay out of my bedroom.

5. You are not welcome in our home.

6. Please don't drink or smoke in our home...

The list goes on and on.

But, in the end boundaries are essential, important, necessary and OKAY!