Anger

I had a moment on Monday night when I felt ANGER.

Almost rage.

I was SO angry.

I immediately went to my past and tried to talk myself out of being angry:

Stop being angry. 

It's dangerous.

Don't be angry.

Pretend like everything is fine.

Make it go away. 

NOW.

Mike and I were talking about it.

Well, I was talking and he was listening.

At the end, he said, "It's okay and very valid to be angry. Just keep talking about it."

He is right.

And then I remembered my treatment and counseling, which is on-going.

I remembered that there is no emotion that is dangerous.

It's natural.

It's OK.

We get to feel it, work through it, decided what (if anything) needs to be done with it, then move forward.

But, never before acknowledging the emotion and allowing yourself to feel it.

Shutting it away is NOT healthy.

My entire life, anger was one of those "bad feelings" that I had.

Because it was "bad," I would try to shove it in that crazy-overfilled closet.

I was a "bad person" for having "bad feelings."

Once I felt it, and talked about it, I slept on it.

The next morning, I went for a five mile walk.

And I worked it out some more.

The goal is NEVER to not feel feelings, including the "bad ones" like anger.

It is to understand it.

Know what it is.

Why you feel it.

Then, choose a healthy way to respond to it.