Relationships

Here's the thing.

Mama is not exactly an expert in relationships, People.

Shocker, I know.

For all of you who just had your jaws dropped out surprise with that comment, close your mouth and hear me out.

Last night, Mike got a message from one of his best friends.

Lifelong friends.

He mentioned that he and his bride are taking a break.

Immediately, Mike asked him what he needed and what he could do for him.

And then we talked.

And we talked again this morning.

Mike hasn't heard back from Mr. X, but we are actively worried about him and his family.

Because relationships are hard.

Even the best of relationships. which I happen to believe I am in finally, are hard work.

They require WORK.

Active work every single day.

Now, when both parties are actively working on the relationship every dang day, the relationship certainly has a better chance.

But, regardless, it is hard.

One of the aspects of my addiction to validation has been that I am a runner.

I run from any sort of contention or problem or issue.

Like, Heidi OUT.

It has taken a daily, active mindset to not do that anymore.

There have been times when T will tell me that I am acting like a toddler and to knock it off.

She wasn't wrong those times.

She's actually never wrong - except when she has decided to continue living in Tokyo even after her house almost burned down - but whatever.

Running is bad for a relationship if it's going to work.

I'm learning.

I am grateful, indeed, that I am surrounded by all kinds of relationships.

All of which take immense, daily amounts of work.

Each of which have to be planted firmly in integrity, love and commitment.

I am surrounded by same sex relationships that are beautiful and love-filled.

I am surrounded by same sex relationships that include children that are supportive and strong.

I am surrounded by relationships that have lasted, where the children are the biological children of those two parents. These relationships are note-worthy, respectable and awe-inspiring.

I am surrounded by relationships where there is a single parent, raising children all on their own. These single parents are exhausted, determined and hard working.

I am surrounded by relationships where there is a single parent who is co-parenting with the other parent. These relationships are hard, strained, but committed to the children involved.

I am surrounded by relationships where the families are blended - Brady Bunch-like. These families are full of love, strife, patience, conflict, laughter and tears.

I know of relationships where grandparents, aunts and uncles are raising children;

Where children are adopted;

Where children have disabilities;

Where parents are stricken with illness, disease, disabilities, even terminal;

Where there has been death of a spouse or a child;

Where children have been sent to live in a hospital or facility because of mental health issues;

Where families are mixed race or mixed religion...

All of these relationships are hard.

They take work.

They require accountability to each other and to self.

No relationship is exactly what it might look like on the outside or on social media.

We don't tend to social media blast our hard times, our tears, our frustrations, our fears, our sadness, our not-so-pretty experiences.

We are all worth it.

And, PS...

Having a counselor on speed dial is ALWAYS a good idea!