From Katryna

My Katryna (therapist) posted this last night.

Isn't this the truth?

Real talk:

There have been a LOT of things that have left major cracks in my body and my soul:

Divorces.

Stroke.

My children's physical health ailments.

My parent's divorce.

Perry's death.

Knowledge of my addiction and recovery.

But this.

This right now.

This has literally threatened to destroy my soul.

I get that part of that is because I'm feeling ALL the feels for the first time in my lifetime.

But, this has taken a toll.

This has dropped me to my knees more than a few times.

I have cried tears for hours on end.

I have said the "F" word more than a few times.

I have used the word "hate" a LOT.

I have struggled to breathe on occasion; struggled to eat on a lot of occasions; struggled to sleep almost nightly.

I have watched my boys go through all of the emotions as well, talking about how they loved Mike and trusted him.

I did, too.

BUT.

There's always a but.

Through it all, I am learning very intimately WHO I am meant to be.

WHO I can trust for constant validation (God).

WHO I can be.

I am learning that I can do crazy-hard stuff over and over and over again.

I am learning that most things don't really matter, and the things that do are within our grasp.

I am learning that Schitt's Creek is the best laugh on the daily.

I am learning that motivational speeches on my way to work or to the gym are pretty awesome.

I am learning that my morning devotionals are non-negotiables.

I am learning that I really can cook pretty okay.

I am learning that I am loved, more than I can even comprehend.

I am learning that it's okay to walk on the treadmill at 1.5 speed with a big, fat boot on my left foot.

I am learning that gratitude is Godly.

I am figuring it out.

One day at a time.

One hour at a time.

I don't know how people continue on through trials without a faith in a higher power.

I just don't.