I am an Addict

While sitting in a 12-step meeting, my dear friend heard a recovering addict share.

It was in that very moment that she thought she might actually be an addict.

This dear friend had thought that perhaps she just had some undiagnosed disorder, that there was just something clearly WRONG with her.

She thought that perhaps there was just something really wrong with her relationship.

She thought a lot of things, but after really conversing with the Lord, she was driven by the desire placed on her heart that she needed to IMMEDIATELY begin working to coach other women with the same addiction she had just realized she had.

There are no coincidences.

Had she not gone to that meeting, just to observe...

Had she not already been searching for help for what she thought was a disorder or a problem with her relationship, she never would have very quickly come to the point where she had this desire on her heart.

It is about paths.

It is about line upon line.

When she realized this, and followed the promptings, she began recovery for her addiction WHILE also co-creating an outline whereby she would help other women with the same addictions.

She is an addict.

I am an addict.

I love addicts.

As I have continued recovery in various ways, I have seen the hand of God in ALL of it.

I have learned, and actively practiced my worth.

I have not run, even when it felt tempting!

I have not given in to the adversary when it sure seemed like it would take away the hurt, even temporarily.

I have not strayed from the Father, who is the only One who can give me the peace I so need.

There is actually nothing WRONG with being at the bottom of that human revine.

It is there where we recognize that the only way out is Him.

It is there where we learn that we are actually not alone.

It is there where we see that everyone will have to take a turn there and that because of our experiences, we can help them up.

Addiction is the only thing in this life which has the power to take away our agency.

This is what Satan wanted.

He wanted a life where we had no agency.

Where there was no opposition in all things.

Where everything just was.

As I think about my road to here and now, I am so grateful for my addiction.

I am so grateful to be a recovering addict.

I am so grateful that I have the ability to see things very differently - through a bigger lens.

I was recently told that someone just doesn't agree with the choices I have made.

Good news!

That doesn't matter.

It actually doesn't matter.

They don't have to agree with them.

They don't have to understand them.

They don't have to like them!

Heavenly Father has had a plan for me all along and I am right where I am supposed to be.