Friday, July 16, 2021

Grudges vs. Boundaries

Let's talk about holding grudges versus holding boundaries.

Holding a grudge looks like this:
You drink the poison in hopes that the other person will die.
You relive the experience(s) over and over, desperately hoping that there will be clear vindication and redemption... 
That "karma" will take care of them...
That "they will get theirs."

It is heavy.
It saps your energy and your own joy.
It feels icky.

Holding a boundary, on the other hand, looks like this:
You see the person for who they really are (believe them the first time!).
You no longer allow them access to your peace - the peace that you have worked so hard to build and sustain.
Boundaries protect you and the other person.
Boundaries feel powerful, calming, and safe.
Time does not allow access to our peace and apologies don't always allow access back to us, either.

 

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