The Boundary

Do you ever feel like one trial must not be enough, so let's just pile them on?

A lady asked me yesterday if I was tired because I had a baby...

I informed her I stopped having babies almost 18 years ago...

I was tired because of the weight of carrying traumas.

She had nothing to say after that.

Like, if it was because I had a baby then that would have been a legitimate reason to be tired.

However, carrying traumas for 43 years isn't.

Note taken.

One boundary that I feel is important to talk about is this:

Allow me to preface this by saying that everyone is different.

Everyone has different triggers.

Different emotions

Different points of view.

This is simply mine.

1. Please don't include me in group messages or texts with someone who literally destroyed our family, someone who I put all my trust into, someone I was committed to and loyal to and loved. Please don't include me in any conversations that include that person.

2. Thank you for thinking of my kids and I as family or friends, or whatever it might be. However, please use common sense and decency when holding an activity in which the person I aforementioned is also invited. I, nor my children, want to be in his presence. I, nor my children, don't want to hear about him or talk about him or have anything to do with him.

3. When boundaries have been set, yet not respected, and my sisters step in and go full-on protective mode because of this --- they are not the villains here. They are not the "crazy ones" here. They are asserting the boundaries that I tried to set that are not being respected.

One more note:

Healing is not pretty.

It is not a straight line.

It's not even one line.

It's a shit show of epic proportions.

I am not in a good place right now, Friends.

But, I'm here.

I'm fighting and I'm trying.

If that is not something you are willing to understand or open to being supportive of, please respect boundaries.