Light On

I am not a fan of the dark, especially when I'm by myself.

If I am at home alone and it's dark, I reach for anything that can provide some kind of light.

The light brings comfort and solace to the anxiety that the darkness gives my soul.

I have enjoyed watching my Spirit regain the light that was always there.

As an addict, the light is fleeting.

I was always, ALWAYS, trying to find light by doing what I felt others wanted me to do in order to validate my worth.

Remember, addiction is the one thing that takes away our agency.

People have asked me what it was like to hear the words, "You're an addict." "You have an addiction."

Those were the most glorious words I had heard.

Ever.

The entire weight of a thousand pounds was suddenly shook from my mind.

There was HOPE.

I had FAITH that I could come back from this.

I immediately felt some of the darkness dissipate from my soul.

I ONLY needed God.

And, He was right there waiting to bring the light back to my heart and to my soul.

This quote also makes me think of my 12-step meetings.

Oh, how holy those are.

Always.

I truly LOVE watching the light come back to others as well.

I enjoy meeting new people in these meetings, but those core members are almost like soul brothers and sisters.

Watching them each week as they become so fulfilled in God's love for them is a thing of beauty.

Real beauty.