Connecting

Somehow, this morning I came upon a little snippet of a podcast.

It included Abby Wombach, her wife Glennon Doyle, and Brene Brown.

Y'all know I love Brene Brown!

This snippet hit me right in every bit of feels I have!

Brene talked about how it's not our job to fix or save anyone.

Our job is to sit with people and connect with them and their feelings.

She says it so much more eloquently.

But, that's where the magic happens.

As an addict, I worked tirelessly to fix or save people - in particular men.

I was going to love them enough that they would love me back.

I was going to fix everything that was wrong in their lives.

They'd see.

I'd be everything for them!

First of all, that is addiction.

Second of all, it was never my job to fix them or save them.

We literally have a Savior who has done that... and WAY better than I ever could have.

The magic happens when we connect with people we truly love.

We sit with them in their feelings and their emotions.

We hold that space for them.

The example that she uses is one that I love:

Her kiddo comes home from school after really having their feelings hurt by another child.

They're sad and angry and confused and anxious.

Instead of (and this is so me!!) saying, "I'll call the school," or, "I'll call their parents right now," (again, SO ME!)...

We just sit with them.

We ask them how they're feelings.

We ask them what emotions they have.

We validate them.

We reassure them.

We love them.

We create connection by creating space for their emotions and their feelings.

This is connection.

This is healing.