One of the most common denominators for addicts is the lack of identity.
For validation addicts, in particular, we are chameleons.
We work very hard to be and do whatever we think others want us to be or do.
Not only do we not know who we are, we are so fluid in identity because we have a need to be different for different people.
Our identity is the foundation of who we are.
When we are solid in our identity, we are not swayed by what other people think!
We are grounded in our unchanging worth!
We KNOW that everything we want to be is already inside of us!
We are able to feel our feelings, but not become our feelings!
Doesn't that sound SO legit?!?!
There are ten questions to ask ourselves:
1. Do I compare myself to others?
2. Am I not enough?
3. Am I jealous?
4. What are my faults and weaknesses?
5. Do I worry?
6. Do I apologize for things when I haven't actually done anything wrong?
7. Do I judge?
8. Do I base my worth on outside factors?
9. Do I long for approval?
10. Do I feel like I don't belong?
I like to stop and ask myself these questions once or twice a week to take personal inventory on where I am at.
If I am answering the majority of these questions in the affirmative, then I know I have work to do to flip the switch!
That doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong.
It just means I GET TO remind myself of my true identity!
I get to show myself love, compassion, and grace.
I get to continue to become.
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