Heidi Rae Coaching - When The Holidays Aren't So Merry & Bright

Babes!

The holidays are a funny time, aren't they? For Kaydon in the Dominican Republic, it's actually a very dangerous time. They are required to stay in their apartments for longer periods of time due to increased violence. They don't have Christmas trees where he is, or decorations. It's hot and muggy; not at all like the cold, snowy Decembers here.

For Jackson, it's about making new traditions with his little family. Isis's family has very traditional Mexican traditions which are fun and wonderful. Colton gets to be a part of them as well.

For Braxton, it's about preparing for a new reality in the upcoming year with a baby on the way. It's about sharing time with Mia's family as well.

Last night, I had a very real moment where I spent time with my emotions and my feelings. The physical, outward response to my emotions was sobbing for a long period of time. Alone.

I realized that in my validation addiction, I have sought a seat at a table. For years, I have longed for a seat at a table. As I listen to my children's plans for the holidays, they include a visit to the home where I grew up. No such invitation will be given to me.

As I tried to work through the feelings that this truth creates in me, I tried to find comfort in the fact that there is a universal table of sorts... that even though I can't see it, or feel it, or pull a realistic seat up to it, I have hope that there is a table to which we are all invited.

The holidays are a time when movies are watched that include families sitting around tables together, reminiscing and laughing and bonding. The holidays are a time when you see families out shopping, light-watching, tree-finding, and gather to eat.

If you are someone who, during these times, is watching all of this while feeling alone, please know that I see you. I hear you. And, even though we can't see it or pull an actual chair up to it - I have to believe that there is a table to which we are all invited, welcomed, and loved.

 

Heidi Rae Coaching - Own Your Worth

Babes!!
Come sit with me for a moment. Do you remember the story of how I learned what my worth was based on? Remember that first appointment with my Katryna when she asked me what made up my worth?? I felt like I gave her some seriously great answers... epic, really! My answers were things like: How good of a mom I am, how good at my job I am, how self-reliant I am, how proud my parents could be of me one day... I mean, REALLY terrific answers! Guess what grade Katryna gave me?? An F. Failing grade!

Do you know what she told me the correct answer is? I WAS BORN WITH IT. It's innate. There is nothing I can or can't do to raise or lower it! It just is. It is not up for discussion. It is unchangeable. We are divine. 

When we learn this, and then live in this truth, we allow others to shine as well. Isn't that the very coolest thing ever?? Yes is the answer to that question!! If my worth is innate and I was born with infinite, divine worth then YOU WERE TOO!

It takes practice to live in that truth. It takes practice to own our divinity. It takes practice to shine like a diamond! Some days we just want to crawl under rocks or hibernate for a good six months or sing Christmas carols at the top of our dang lungs in a 45 minute hot shower... and that's OK!! But when we know, and I mean REALLY know, our worth... we WILL shine!

 

Heidi Rae Coaching - Villages

Babes!!

I really love this quote. Here's why:

(Yes this IS, in fact, story time)

This week, a human who I love dearly, said these words to me:

"I've gotten more private about things as time goes on. I feel like no one really wants to hear complaining or hopelessness. And that's there sometimes. I don't want to feel like I'm filtering how I cope..."

Dearest One,

I want to hear your complaining and your hopelessness. I want to hear all of it. I want to feel your tears running down my shoulders. I want to listen as you talk about those hard emotions and the feelings that arise because of them. I want to be able to pray for you by name, and send positive vibes into the entire universe for you. I want to be able to remind you that I KNOW you are divine. Enough. Worthy.

Please know that you can come to me with the good, bad, ugly, and hard. I'll be here waiting. I'll be here waiting because I have been fortunate enough to have trials, too. I know those feelings and those emotions. I can empathize with every single one of them. I CHOOSE to hear you. I CHOOSE to see you. I CHOOSE to love you.

XOXO

Babes,

We are not in this alone. We aren't supposed to do this life on our own. It just couldn't happen that way. We have had people put on our paths throughout our lives at just the right times, in just the right places, who have gathered the broken parts of us into their village.

We are on lots of people's paths right this minute. They need us, without even knowing it. They need us. And we need them.