Heidi Rae Coaching - Feel Your Feelings

Babes!!

Raise your hand if are someone who tries to stay as busy as possible in order to avoid feeling. Oh, goodness! I spent over three decades doing everything possible to avoid feeling. EVERYTHING!

When we, or loved ones, are struggling with heavy things, we tend to point out the "positives" in the situation. We are well-meaning humans trying to help. But in reality, we are assisting with that very mortal need to avoid feeling. We say things like:

"It's a blessing in disguise!"

"At least you have ___ or ____."

"In the end, it will be okay!"

"At least you don't have this trial or that trial!"

"You'll look back on this and realize it was a stepping stone to bigger and better things!"

While those sentiments might actually turn out to be true, in the moment we don't need to (and shouldn't) say any of them. Instead we need to validate the feelings that we, or others, are feeling. We need to encourage feeling them. We need to let them know that it's healthy and normal to feel whatever they are feeling: anger, fear, frustration, confusion, sadness, numbness... There are no bad feelings. They are just feelings!

So instead of trying to help people NOT feel, we can say things like:

"Those feelings are valid!"

"Wow! I can't even imagine what feelings you must be having. Do you want to talk about them?"

"What space can I hold for you while you experience this?"

"I see you. I hear you. I'm here for you when you want to talk."

Processing and experiencing feelings is a healthy part of living a full life! When we try to suppress "bad" feelings, we are not able to experience "good" feelings. Struggling with emotions and feelings, or putting them off, or hiding them, or shaming ourselves for having them leads to MORE suffering!

Feel!!

XOXOXO