Let's just get this over with, please.
Junior High School was three years of plastering my greasy hair to my head, whilst wearing bright blue eye shadow, bright blue mascara and crazy amounts of blush; wearing corduroys that were too tight for me and too short for me because I ate BLT's on the daily; falling down the stairs from the third floor to the second, then falling down the unbelievably steep hill to the seminary building; begging my mom to write excuse notes from gym because that class was like a cesspool for bullying and this girl right here was the constant target of such action; oh, and getting slammed into lockers that were somehow larger than me because a boy named Jon "liked" me for 15.9 seconds instead of a girl that lived around the corner from me who was approximately 6'1" and 200 pounds.
That didn't end well for me.
Sophomore year of high school really should have been the year my parents purchased a straight jacket and had my mouth wired shut because, Friends, it just got uglier.
I made some "friends" during the summer before sophomore year.
Let's use that word "friends" about as loosely as Julia Roberts' character in Pretty Woman.
Catch my drift?!
There were three of us SOPHOMORES (15 year old girls) who somehow - and I can't remember for the life of me how - got into "relationships" with three 28 year-old men.
Let's use the word "relationships" about as loosely as, well you know - LOOSE!
We would ride the big yellow school bus right to the high school, then walk right across the street from the high school and catch a UTA bus.
I have no clue how we even had money to get on these busses.
We would take the bus to an apartment complex in an entirely different city and there we would meet up with grown-ass men who clearly had no jobs, no aspirations, no morals and no conscience.
We would hang out with them until it was time to catch our UTA bus back to the high school in time to catch the big yellow bus.
Now, back in the day there were no cell phones.
So, if we could get to our houses in time to delete the messages from the school on the answering machine, we had it made!
Until we were caught.
Then there was the kid who lived clear out on the west side of the valley.
Again, no recollection of how I met this one.
I'm pretty sure that at one point, though, he would have removed my tonsils with his tongue if they hadn't already been removed surgically.
I had a crush on a kid whose house I would drive by every single chance I got.
Mind you, I drove the family minivan for a few months prior to purchasing my own metal box on four wheels.
There were still the dozens of boys who my dad was coaching.
It was always interesting to me how many "girl friends" I would make during spring and summer.
They would come out of the wood work as soon as they noticed all of the boys around for the four months of baseball.
I knew I was being used, Loves. I just wanted so badly to have actual friends that I would pretend that it was all an illusion that they could possibly be using me to get to 16 boys our same age who were not unattractive.
I did meet a nice young man when I was a junior.
He and I dated for several months.
It was a real relationship.
In fact, there is really no arguing that it was my one and only healthy relationship.
Just ask my mom!
That was until his MOM broke up with me.
That's right.
She called me, told me that she knew he needed to marry a nice, Catholic girl and asked me to please bring his belongings to her.
So, Brandon put me in his car with all of this nice boys' materials and we went and gave them to his mom.
I was shattered.
I don't know that I ever recovered.
Then,
as if rock bottom could be lower - it dropped out from under me.
We are talking 24 years of absolutely violent, unfaithful, disrespectful, heartbreaking, miserable relationships.
Eating disorders.
Attempted suicide.
One week in the psych ward.
Addiction.
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