You Will Lose

You will lose friends.

You will lose acquaintances.

You will lose family members.

You will lose "support."

You will lose things.

You will lose relationships.

You will lose.

Recovery is not all unicorns and glitter machines.

It isn't all sunshine and calm seas.

Addiction isn't like a broken finger nail.

And recovery isn't like putting a band aid on and forgetting it.

Addiction takes away who you really are and who you are meant to be.

Recovery's goal is to bring that person back and keep that person on the path to being the very best, most healthy version of themselves.

Sometimes, people liked the addict in you.

People liked what they were able to get from you or do with you or to you.

And, sometimes people are co-dependent on your addiction.

It gives them something to talk about amongst family or friends.

Talking about you makes them look better.

So, when you begin to get better - they aren't too hip on that idea.

You will lose.

You will lose the chains that have bound you.

You will lose the weight of the lies and secrets and hiding.

You will lose people who weren't good for you anyways.

You will lose anxiety.

You will gain your real tribe.

The people who loved you through all of the addiction.

The people who are supporting your recovery and treatment.

You will gain understanding, humility, gratitude, vulnerability, honesty, complete rawness.

You will gain clarity.

You will gain the ability to be a part of someone else's tribe in the best way possible.

A young man in my group recently said that he thinks his wife might leave him.

He was confused by this.

He is doing the "right" thing by getting treatment, yet his wife wants to leave...

There are still real-life consequences to our addictions and the fall-out of them.

I experience these almost daily.

But the gains are so much greater than the losses.

And so, I continue.

But, realize that you will lose.