It Doesn't Get Easier

First of all, I love Hank Smith.

His quotes are phenomenal.

Always meaningful.

He is a great writer and, I hear, a great teacher as well.

These two quotes are great.

I have some bad news, Friends.

Recovery and Treatment do not get easier.

That sucks the suck out of the suck, I know.

Trust me.

I know!

Sometimes I think that our brains tell us that when we are on "the right path" and when we are "doing what's right," things will get better. They will get easier. They will feel better. 

Ummm... it's not true.

It's not.

Which is one reason why I think that people go back to addictions and behavior that isn't exactly looked upon with a great deal of respect. 

Counseling, and discovery of WHY I have the issues I have, has been HARD.

Like, HARD.

There are moments in my days when I sit still for a minute and I feel like my head and my heart are spinning.

Like, I cannot believe that this is my life.

I cannot believe that this is what I agreed to before this life!

Like, Mama must have been having a lapse in judgement at the time because I can't see why I ever thought this was a good idea!

So, on top of recovery from addiction (which is hard as hell), I am also dealing with emotions and feelings regarding the reasons why.

You know the movie, "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs?"

It's my nephews' favorite.

That poor kiddos has some issues!

He just wants so badly to make his dad proud.

He wants so badly for people to like him.

He goes out of his way to be liked.
To be seen.

To be good at something - anything!!

I relate to him.

He is my person.

Do you know who else is my person?

Pretty much every other human who is not living their best life currently and is more than aware and more than capable of talking about it, rather than hiding it and pretending like I am the only human on this earth with issues.

Those people are my people, too.

Oh, and the kid at the gym on Sunday who was more than on it like a bonnet when I told him that he needed to find the football games on the tv's stat.

He is my person, too.