Lovingly Direct

For real. For real.

Counseling on Wednesday was good.

It's been a couple of weeks since I've seen her.

We were scheduled to see each other every other week, then on my appointment week I got strep throat.

It was good to be back and get caught up on things.

So much to talk about. 

Katryna had me start reading a book a few months ago.

I jumped right in and was reading it and taking notes.

And then it got to a point in the book, and in counseling, where that book was so full of triggers for me that I could only read a paragraph at a time.

It was rough!
She asked me about it on Wednesday.

I explained that it was a trigger book for me and that someday I would finish it, but it wasn't going to be today!

She asked me how twelve step group was going.

I told her I hadn't been in three weeks because I was dashing on Sunday nights.

She really didn't have to say anything because her face said it ALL, but she sure as heck still said, "That's a priority and you need to get back."

T has been telling me the same thing.

Both of them are right, and I look forward to going on Sunday.

After counseling, I always message T.

If I don't message her, she messages me right away.

I told her on Wednesday that she and Katryna are basically the same person.

Lovingly direct.

To the point.

"Don't be offended, but..."

That kind of direct.

I am so blessed to have both of them!

Back to 12-step:

Sometimes as addicts, or really anyone who is struggling with mental illness, addiction, character flaws, health issues, etc.

We get to a point where we are comfortable.

We get to a point where we feel that we are in a good place.

We get to a point where we feel confident in where we are and what we are doing.

Katryna reminded me that I have done nothing, NOTHING to show a relapse of any kind.

Nothing.

However, she said, it is important (imperative, really) that we keep doing what we are doing and what we were doing to get to this point.

She said that as we stop doing these important things: taking our medicine, going to counseling, going to group, doing our affirmations, exercising, eating a healthy diet for our health issues, etc., we start to slip and we don't realize that we need to go back to doing those things until we have done something or something has happened to make us realize that we needed those things all along.

We need to stick with it all.

For the long haul.

And keep plugging away.