Be Happy Now

I have always, and I mean ALWAYS, chased happiness.

I will be happy when I am in a loving relationship.

I will be happy when I don't have to work four jobs.

I will be happy when I am financially self reliant.

I will be happy when my businesses are "successful."

I will be happy when the people around me think that I am loveable and worth it just as I am.

I will be happy....

I have heard MANY times that we just need to choose to be happy NOW.

Whatever.

I always felt like that came from people whose lives were good enough to be happy.

Seriously, it was stay-at-home moms who had financial security through their spouse... who were beautiful and fit... who got to attend their kids' events and school class parties... who were making boat loads of money in their side businesses... they had everything I wanted in order to deem myself happy.

Well, I listened to a Ted Talk this weekend.

You know, we hear the very same things our entire lives.

But, sometimes it takes the "right" person or the "right" time to be able to really get it.

This weekend was my time.

I heard it and it stuck with me.

Be happy NOW, Heidi Rae.

Be so happy that your boy is asking you to do his Eagle Scout project with him, asking him to run around with him in the freezing cold weather to hand out fliers.

That is JOY.

Be so happy that you are making exactly what your boys requested for dinner.

They eat it up and there are no leftovers.

That is JOY.

Be so happy that your oldest misses his mama right now, so he reads old posts in the blog, then calls weeping, saying that he just needed to be reminded who he is and he got that from his mom.

Be so happy that you have a voice. That you have boundaries.

That you have Primary kids who absolutely adore you to the point of loving all over you for a full hour.

I am SO happy that I have a child who is not neuro-typical. Because of Colton, I am able to understand and love with all of my heart other children who are not neuro-typical.

I am SO happy that my body works, and that I have three appointments this week to keep that going.

I am SO happy that I have a warm house, my children have warm beds and pillows and we have hot water and clean clothes and food in our bellies.

I am so happy that I live near my nephews and I can love on them often.

I have so many things to be happy about!! 

And, by the way--

No one is happy all of the time.
That's normal, too.