Lies

This right here.

Is a lie.

First of all, we have no moral obligation to act any way that is not real.

Period.

We do not have a moral obligation to be something we are not.

Period.

That quote makes me feel angry.

And sad.

And anxious.

Period.

This right here.

Is true.

And good. 

Yesterday, I was angry.

And sad.

And scared.

And anxious.

I did not feel happy.

At all.

I messaged T and gave her a list of everything that I hated in that moment.

She didn't say, "I'm sorry. But be grateful for this and this..."

She didn't say, "Oh, Heidi. Choose joy!"

She said, "I hate it too."

I thanked her right away for not telling me to feel happy.

I thanked her for hating right along with me.

Being happy all the time is not normal.

It isn't even healthy.

In fact, it's not a thing!!

Feeling other feelings does not make us any less worthy, either!!

We, in fact, DON'T get to choose our feelings.

It is not a thing.

We can choose our actions.

I allowed myself to feel everything that I was feeling.

I didn't judge myself for it.

I cried.

I vented.

I talked out loud to God.

I went home.

I hugged Colton for a really, really long time.

And I went to bed.