Disaster of a Day

Yesterday was a disaster of a dang day.

I believe that it started with me hating the fact that today was going to be Valentine's Day.

It started with my youngest offspring being home for the fourth straight day with Influenza.

Then it moved into a text message that legit rocked me to the core.

Oh, the feelings and emotions.

They were not good.

They sucked and I wanted more than anything to run so far away that I would lose the feelings and emotions and they would not be able to find me...

They felt so horrible that I wanted to wash my skin with an SOS pad until I couldn't feel anymore.

I am still quite uncomfortable with feelings that I don't understand.

I could NOT figure out why I was feeling whatever it was I was feeling that I couldn't figure out.

I messaged T.

I went to the store and walked around, crying.

I messaged her again.

Then, it became clear that I needed Katryna.

I texted her.

I did exactly what she told me to do.

Then I messaged T again.

I went home with every single desire to go to the gym for the first time this week.

And instead, I asked Colton to pray with me, I put in a sad movie and I cried myself to sleep.

And, that's okay.

Today, I woke up with the decision to spread the love in my heart.

I have a lot of it.

I woke up with a desire to really push my doctors to figure out what is wrong with me.

I get through me day, but as soon as I get into my car to go home, I am SO sick.

So sick.

I can barely breathe enough to get home.

No gym.

That's not good for me.

Today, I woke up to a gift from my Brax...

Lots of love from Colton and Kaydon...

A text from my Jackson...

A funny video from D...

And a great big Diet Coke!