Running Away

Things have been hard.

HARD.

For everyone.

Do you feel the chaos?
The uncertainty?

The complete lack of control?

I do.

I cannot sleep.

My emotions are here, there and every dang where.

And I'm not sure what to do with them because I've allowed them to start controlling me, rather than the other way around.

I have had some epic ugly cries over the last week.

I got this message from Jackson yesterday.

Later, it was extended to Saturday.

But this got me all kinds of wound up.

The thoughts going through my mind about him coming home were out of hand.

He plans to live in Sandy after his quarantine and that shattered my mama heart.

I talked to him about it a little bit, and recognized that I don't have control over his choices...

But I must get control over how I react to it.

T always knows when something is off.

Every single human needs a T.

Katryna says so.

Everyone needs a T.

I told her how I felt.

I said, "I feel like running AWAY. Not to anyone, which is the complete opposite of my validation addiction, but AWAY from everyone and everything."

So, she made me tell her what I do have control over and what I don't have control over.

Then she sent me this:

She reminded me that I can do hard things.

She talked me through the communication process.

Reminded me that I only have control over certain things and that's okay.

This one has been feeling it, too.

He goes back to the office Monday and will be high risk because he will be in and out of jails.

Jails are a breeding place for this virus.

Combine that with Jackson coming home on an airplane, and we needed to discuss the safety of the two little E's.

We asked their mama if we could have them a couple extra days this week...

Until Saturday night.

We may not be able to see them for a couple of weeks because of this virus.

Then he made my requested dinner.

BBQ chicken and brussel sprouts.

This guy can cook and grill like nobody's business!!!!

Then we finished watching a movie.