At Ease

I know that when I am super overwhelmed, or when I can sense that my children are overwhelmed, I feel the need to get everything under control.

To ease burdens.

To take away hurt and fear and confusion and anger and chaos.

To make everything "better."

I wonder what it must be like for God.

He loves us more than I can comprehend, yet He must watch us suffer A LOT and allow it to happen.

Because He knows better.

He sees the whole entire map.

We only see the dot.

He knows what is meant for us and what is not meant for us.

And, above all, He allows agency.

At all times.

And in all things.

And in all places.

And with all people.

Agency.

I feel peace when I know that what is meant for me will not pass me up.

And, what is not meant for me will escape...

If I will let it go.

I have said this so many times:

Having grown kids is HARD.

I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be, honestly.

To watch my children (who are adults) make decisions and not intervene and steer them "clear" is agonizing.

But, this is their journey.

I have mine.

Their journey is to refine them.

Not me.

I have enough refining of my own to do!

However, I know that they are known.

I know that they are seen.

I know that what is meant for them will not pass them up.

In that, my heart finds rest.