Addict

I did a FB Live last night on Addiction.

People ask me all the time if I am afraid to talk to the world about my addiction.

They ask me if I worry about what people think of me (which makes sense, given my addiction).

The answer, though, is "no."

It isn't even an answer I have to think about.

I always preface what I say about my addiction by giving a warning to anyone who might want to make degrading or hurtful comments, or ask questions that are only typed to hurt feelings.

I won't allow it.

Ever.

My spaces are safe spaces for all people - addicts, recovering addicts, and non-addicts.

I always define my addiction.

It is a process addiction.

It is a validation addiction.

And, yes. It IS serious and almost destroyed my life, and that of my babies.

I discuss my recovery.

And, yes. I WILL be a recovering addict for all of time.

Then, I discuss my thoughts in relation to what I am talking about.

Hiding the fact that I am an addict doesn't do ANYONE any good.

Not me, and not those who feel they may have an addiction.

It does not define me, but it is part of me... a part that has been a part of my story, my journey for 35 years.

I am proud of my recovery.

I am proud of the strides I have made, and that I make every day.

I am grateful for Heaven's help through it all...

The protection Angels have provided to my children and I throughout my horrific choices.

I am grateful for people, who years ago and long before they knew me, decided to go to school for an extended amount of time so that they could treat me exactly the way I needed to be treated... with the exact words and therapy options I needed.

I am grateful for the people that God hand-placed in my life every step of my journey....

For the ones who protected us; the ones who hurt us; the ones who carried us; the ones who needed us; the ones that we needed.

And, the ones who have been placed on our journey who have needed genuine empathy and compassion that my children and I have been able to freely give.

I am immensely grateful for my diagnosis of "addict."

Without it, I would not have been put in recovery.

I am immensely grateful for those who have walked this exhausting, roller-coaster, HARD path with me.

It is not easy for those who have promised to do so.

I see you. I love you.