Blessings

While Jackson was at our home, I asked he and Kaydon to give me a blessing.

Jackson asked me, "What for this time?"
I took a moment to explain to both of them that I remember, vividly, President Thomas S Monson saying that women should ask for blessings often; that there are great moments of tender mercies in those; the men giving the blessings are humbled and are able to converse with the Lord.

With that, they both placed their hands on my head and Jackson gave me a blessing.

Here is what I never want to forget:

I have been consistently praying, meditating, and pleading with the Father to know my purpose and my next steps. 

I have not told my children this at all.

In the blessing, Jackson said:
"Your role right now is as a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend. Due to your experiences, you are able to bring light to those who are desperate for it. Soon, you will be speaking and helping people with their issues because you, too, have experienced trials and tribulations."

He went on to say that soon, I would have a dream where I would be walking down a path and at the end of the path, I would know my next steps.

I haven't yet had that dream, but I am doing everything in my power to stay in a mindset to be able to receive that dream and to have courage to do the things being asked of me.

Today is hard.

Mike texted me to tell me he has the divorce papers for me to sign.

I have been trying to prepare for this, but this stings.

It hurts.

I loved him.

I thought that was going to be my forever.

So, today I mourn.

I cry.

I let myself feel, then I move on.