Living In Your Worth With Process Addictions - Podcast #9

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Watch Podcast #9!

This is all about codependency - a very real process addiction that effects so many people in different ways.

 

Process Addiction Recovery - The Aftermath of the Holidays

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The Twelve Steps of Process Addiction Recovery - Simplified With Christ Step 6

You are now aware.

You believe.

You have faith.

You have discovered your story.

You have confessed.

NOW, you GET to become entirely ready to actively use the Atonement.

This is a beautiful, tender step that brings feelings of love, grace, mercy, and abundance.

 

The 12 Steps Simplified, With Christ - Step Five

Step Five:

Confession

This is another testament to the brilliance of the twelve steps and their order.

The addict is aware - aware that they are an addict and are now powerless on their own to overcome the addiction.

The addict believes - believes that the power of God and the Atonement can restore them to health and to happiness.

The addict now has faith - faith to turn their will over to God and to accept His timing in all things as well.

The addict has now written a grueling, lifelong moral inventory of their life. Realizations have surely happened. 

NOW the addict is ready to confess with the knowledge and experience that the first four steps have given them.

Confession is invaluable.

I am an addict.

I have an addiction to validation, with tendency toward co-dependency.

We confess to ourselves first.

Without judgement or shame.

It just is.

We confess to God.

He knows already, yes.

But we GET to tell Him.

He's waiting to bless us with his love and peace that only He can provide.

We confess to our sponsor or accountability partner.

Why?

Because we no longer need to keep secrets.

We no longer need to lie or hide.

As an active recovering addict, I still confess to T when I feel myself slipping or being triggered heavily.

This allows me, as a recovering addict, to keep out of hiding.

To not keep secrets.

To be clear with where I am.

Confession is not scary and is not a punishment.

It is freeing.

As a recovering addict, you are taking your agency back little by little.

 

Co-Dependency (Toxic Relationships) - Process Addictions

Co-dependency is a Process Addiction.

Co-dependency is an umbrella term for toxic relationships.

These are relationships of any kind:

Romantic relationships

Parent to child or child to parent relationships

Co-worker relationships

Sibling to sibling relationships

Friend relationships

Etc.

I have a tendency toward co-dependency within my validation addiction.

They are not only real and exhausting, they are dangerous.

You are not alone!

If you would like to work one-on-one with me in your process addiction and active recovery, message me now.

 

Twelve Steps Simplified, With Christ - Step Four

This is the step that made me want to quit recovery and just live in my addiction forever.

This is the step that hurt the worst.

This is the step where I had to learn all the emotions, all the feelings...

This is the step where I learned about me.

And it hurt.

It was frightening.

It was so sad.

It was a lot.

And I'm still here.

I'm still in active recovery.

I really owe my ability to get through step four to Katryna, Erica, T, and Heavenly Father.

I flew through steps one, two and three.

I was feeling SO good about my dang self in recovery...

Like, this is nothing but a thing.

Then I hit step four and I felt like I was right back at the bottom of that human ravine, but this time I had no way out.

I had to stay there until I could work through it all.

It took months and months to get through step four.

But, I did it.

And with it, I created boundaries.

I understood better where my addiction originated from.

I was able to allow myself grace and compassion.

This will always be the step that holds me up at times, but I am not my past.

I am my present, and it's a gift.

This step requires you, the addict, to make a lifelong, WRITTEN, inventory of your life.

All of it.

Without judgement.

Without shame.

THIS is where you learn your own story.

And you leave it where it is - in the past.

So many times when I am stuck, I can go to my notebook that has two columns:

Past - Present

... and see that my current reaction, my current thought process and therefore narrative, is from the past... from past feelings... from past hurts... 

And I can bring myself back to the present.

Back to the current circumstance/fact.

And I can work through it without delving back into my addiction.

This step will require help.

And that's okay.

Counseling, group and/or coaching.

If you would like to work with me one-on-one, I currently have a holiday special:

Four sessions for $200.

 

Podcast #7 Living In Your Worth - The ABC's of Process Addiction Recovery

 Podcast #7

The Twelve Steps Simplified, With Christ Step Three

Step Three: Faith

Actively, and committedly (not a word, I know) decide to turn your will over to Heavenly Father. That goes for His timing, too.

There is a reason why we need to actively be doing the twelve steps over and over again.

We get to the end and think that we are just amazing.

And, we are.

But how soon we forget what got us there!

 

The Twelve Steps Simplified, With Christ. Step Two.

Step Two:

Believe

I am loving taking the Twelve Steps and simplifying them, along with adding a scripture or a quote from people I respect.

I have such a testimony of these twelve steps.

I KNOW that they are inspired.

The steps.

The order of the steps.

The simplicity of the steps.

 

Step One Simplified, With Christ

Step One.

Awareness.

Simplified.

And, With Christ.

 

Podcast #6: Circumstances are Neutral

Circumstances/facts are always neutral.

 

We Need You

I am going to be put this sign in multiple places in my home, I think.

You were born to be great, in whatever ways that is true for you.

You were born with Godly DNA.

What you were made to be is different than what I was made to be.

And we need ALL of us to be exactly what we were meant to be.

How do we know what that even is??

1. Pray specifically. Ask God. Ask Him. Heavenly Father, what am I here to do?

2. Listen. Meditate. 

3. Write down any and all thoughts that come to your mind.

4. Break it down!! Ask God simply what your next step is.

5. Listen. Meditate.

6. Write down any and all thoughts that come to your mind or your heart.

7. ACT.

8. Repeat.

 

Simplified With Christ

Recovery, along with every other dang thing in life, is simplified when we team up with our Savior.

One part of my morning devotional is reading the Book of Mormon, always with Live In Your Worth in mind.

This allows me to read with each of you in mind, listening to Christ.

Christ simplifies everything for us.

When we are in our true self, we are in the flow with the Spirit.

We can hear and feel inspiration.

We simply have to follow that.

Alma 7:15

"...Lay aside every sin, which easily doth best you, which doth BIND YOU DOWN TO DESTRUCTION, yeah, come and go forth..."

Addiction binds us down to destruction.

It takes our agency.

It puts us in our false self.

All we have to do; the ONLY thing we need to do is turn to our Savior.

Hard?

Oh, there are no words.

Possible?

There is nothing that we cannot do with our Savior.

Alma 7:5

"...my joy cometh over them after wading through much affliction and sorrow."

Affliction and sorrow WILL be there.

It's supposed to be.

Joy will still come.

 

Fake Stories

Circumstances are ALWAYS neutral.

Our brains want to create drama.

Our brains have thought cycles that we need to become AWARE of and then remind our brains that we are in control.

Ask yourself:

* How am I feeling?

* How do I want to feel?

* What am I going to do to get there?

Let's break down pain that we might feel:

1. Clean pain: grieving, mourning. When something tragic happens, we NEED to allow ourselves to feel those emotions. It is cleansing and necessary. 

2. Dirty pain: Clean pain can very easily turn into dirty pain. Dirty pain is almost always birthed out of fear. It is not helpful. It is not cleansing. It keeps us stuck. It creates ineffective action. 

Processing the clean pain:

Lean into it. 

I name it.

Emotions are not scary or bad.

They are teaching us or telling us something.

The emotions might come and go and that's okay.

I ask myself what I feel, where I feel it, where is it at in my body?

Dirty pain:

When I have dirty pain (almost always birthed from my past experiences of rejection and abandonment), I remind myself that I am not in my true self.

I tell myself, out loud, that I am creating this in my mind.

I remind myself that I don't have to understand it all right now.

I just need to recognize what I am feeling, ask myself if it is true, then ask myself if it is ACTUALLY true, then finally ask myself if it is necessary to hang onto this emotion.

 

Just Me?!

I love this so much.

It describes me quite perfectly!

I can see my judgement day conversation going something like this:

"Well, Sis. Looks like you are a very good, creative, and consistent inducer of trials. You really outdid yourself!"

Followed by me saying, "Welcome!!"

Truly, though.

How much of our overwhelm, chaotic feelings come from ourselves?

How much do we pile on to our load, followed by us pleading with God to take it all away?

How much of our anxiety is created all by our own thoughts?

For me - a lot.

When we are in our true selves, we are in flow with God.

We are open to Him and His plan and His timing.

When we are in our false selves, we are trying VERY hard to be in control of everything and make all of our wildest dreams come true - alone.

When we are in our false selves as addicts, that is multiplied exponentially.

We need to flip the switch, get back to our center, and open ourselves up to God.

We can do this in many different ways.

The key, though, is consistency.

Practice makes permanent.