Addiction Recovery - It's Not About Me

I had a triggering weekend.

It was brilliant.

Why?!

Well, for one I was in complete awareness that I was triggered:

Anxious before it even happened.

Scared about what would happen.

Trying to stay in my true self whilst in my false self.

Recognizing that I wouldn't have a lot of control over my boundaries.

Triggered.

I wanted to run.

Away from it.

Far, far away.

Because that's what my subconscious has done for 40 years.

Run, then shove it all into that dang closet.

I was about three miles from where I was going and I called B.

"I want to turn around and go home. I can't do this."

B:
"You are already doing this. This isn't about you. This is about Isis and Kehlani. You have the ability to smile and nod. You have the ability to walk away when you need to. You CAN do this."

Me:

...

B:

"Are you smiling?"

Me"

"Thank you."

Later on in the day...

T:

"How did it go?"

Me:

"I did it. It was really great for Isis and Kehlani."
T:
"I'm so proud of you."

Step One:
Awareness.

Step Two:

Hope.

Step Three: 

Faith

Step One and a Half:

Find your village.

It was never about me.

It was about Isis and Kehlani.

In my true self, I could see that and love that and embrace that.

It took my people to remind me.