Addiction Recovery - Own Your Happiness

One of the things that I have learned about flipping the switch is that sometimes it takes actually yelling at myself...

Saying cuss words...

Repeating certain phrases...

Sometimes we have to include the shock factor when it comes to flipping the switch.

I've been shock factoring myself quite a bit for the last two weeks.

And, it's finally working.

*The party is in the process, friends!!

I have been having some pretty amazing conversations with my dang self about happiness and about holding space.

Let me preface this post by talking about something that I'm basically semi-pro at: self-sabotage.

I am determined (and I mean DETERMINED) to hurt myself before anyone else hurts me.

This causes me to CREATE narratives in my mind about ways that people might hurt me, or why they might hurt me, or what is "actually" going on, then I self-sabotage.

I have become very good at this.

Thus, semi-pro.

When I go back through my thought cycle, I always recognize that my thoughts are not facts.

They are created by my emotions and feelings to the actual facts.

But they, themselves, are not facts.

I am literally creating stories in my head that are not true.

Sure, in the moment they feel true to me.

But they are not facts.

Now that I have described my self-awareness, which I am crazy grateful for, I want to let you in on a little conversation I've been repeating with myself:

HEIDI RAE (yup, I'm literally yelling at myself):

It is YOUR job to make YOUR damn self happy.

HEIDI RAE:

It is YOUR job to hold your own space.

HEIDI RAE:

It is YOUR responsibility to manage your emotions and your feelings.

HEIDI RAE:

Hold the boat!!!

You are just fine.