Heidi Rae Coaching - Core Beliefs

Babes!!

What if we can change our core beliefs?? WE CAN!! (sorry, I didn't put in that silly spoiler alert warning)

Facts about CORE beliefs:

- We aren't born with core beliefs; we learn them

- Core beliefs usually develop in childhood, or during a stressful or traumatic period(s) in adulthood

- Core beliefs are usually rigid and long-standing

- We are literally wired to ignore information that contradicts our core beliefs - our mind is constantly justifying our core belief system and labeling all other beliefs as "wrong"

Personally, my core beliefs both developed in childhood AND came from trauma in adulthood. How did I learn this?? STEP FOUR of the 12 steps. You MUST peel back layer by layer until you get to the root of why you believe the things you do. *I STRONGLY suggest doing this with a therapist and/or coach*

Harmful core beliefs will do damage!

- Low self-esteem

- Depression

- Anxiety

- Lack of trust in others

- Feelings of inadequacy

- ADDICTION

Beliefs are not right or wrong. They just are. The win is in awareness and adapting to rational, balanced reactions to the beliefs that we have.

Example: "I can do this! I'm amaze-a-balls. I'm brave. I'm strong. I'm dedicated to this goal."

INSTEAD of: "I'm weak. I'm lazy. No wonder I never achieve any of my goals. Good things are not meant to happen to me."

So, to switch our core beliefs from non-adaptive to adaptive OR negative to positive OR false self to true self, we can:

- Take our non-adaptive/negative/false self beliefs through the "self-reflection tunnel." To do this, we become aware of our belief, then ask ourselves if it is a belief or a fact. Again, STEP FOUR. It's the hardest, most important step of all 12 steps!!

Example: I'm unlovable.

Is this a belief or a fact?

It's a belief.

What is the fact?

I, and every other human, IS lovable simply because they were born.

This isn't a one and done. This takes a whole lot of practice! But, it can be done!

XOXOXO

 

Heidi Rae Coaching - Personal Bingo

Babes!!

This morning as I was writing out my to-do list for the day, I wrote, "Personal Schedule." I am feeling like I am stretched way too thin right now and I'm collapsing a bit under the weight of it all. We ALL know how this feels. I am aware that I am the only one who can change this or fix this or whatever needs to be done about it. I am also the only person with the responsibility to do so.

As I was working on some marketing, I came across this "Mindfulness Bingo" template on Canva. Coincidence? I don't really believe in coincidence. I've been having some talks with God lately and I feel it was a God wink. Anywho, I decided to do my personal schedule as a Personal Daily Bingo.

I've attached both the original Mindfulness Bingo and my edited version. The edited version includes my daily vitals. These are the things that I must do daily in order to feel my best, in order to be my best, in order to have my well full enough that I can share with others. When I am not doing my daily vitals daily, I feel frustrated, agitated, easily provoked, less patient, more withdrawn, even angry. When I am not doing my daily vitals daily, I FEEL like I NEED more validation. I FEEL like I NEED other people to read my mind and just know what I need. I don't listen. I hear, but I don't listen. I am quick to be defensive. I make assumptions and perceive things as they aren't much more rapidly. I don't sleep well. I don't eat well. I am not well.

I do better with a visual of what I need to be doing. It keeps me on track and it gives me accountability. This Bingo is a "blackout Bingo" every day for me. Yes, I will be rewarding myself. I haven't figured out how that will look, but I will most definitely be rewarding myself.

Every person's Daily Bingo will look different. I would challenge you to think about what yours needs to look like and to make your own kind of personal Bingo this weekend! You're worth it!

 

Heidi Rae Coaching - The Mountain

Babes!!

There is an incredibly poignant poem written by Laura Ding-Edward, called, "The Mountain." It expresses emotions and feelings beautifully... at least emotions and feelings that I have now and then.

If the mountain seems too big today, then climb a hill instead.

If the morning brings you sadness, it's okay to stay in bed.

If the day ahead weighs heavy, and your plans feel like a curse, there's no shame in rearranging. Don't make yourself feel worse.

If a shower stings like needles and a bath feels like you'll drown; if you haven't washed your hair for days, don't throw away your crown.

A day is not a lifetime; a rest is not defeat.

Don't think of it as failure, just a quiet, kind retreat.

It's okay to take a moment from an anxious, fractured mind, the world will not stop turning while you get realigned.

The mountain will still be there when you want to try again.

You can climb it in your own time, just love yourself until then.

There are days when I feel drained. Tired. Fatigued. Emotional. I feel the weight of responsibilities. I feel the stress of schedules, finances, family needs, work, health... Some days I truly just feel like I need a minute (or a day) to regroup. Like I just simply cannot muster the strength to climb today's mountain. Like even a hill seems like an immense amount of work. Like I am drowning in my own thoughts and feelings.

It's imperative to remind ourselves that it is OKAY to feel this way! It is actually HEALTHY to acknowledge that we feel this way now and then and to honor those feelings. It's okay to rest. It's okay to try the mountain climb on a different day, when you feel stronger. It's okay to rejuvenate your energy and joy. What's not okay is to remove your crown! What's not okay is to feel less worthy on those days. What's not okay is to forget that you are a masterpiece, no matter what size hill you're in the process of climbing today.

 

Heidi Rae Coaching - Simultaneously

Babes!!

This is basically the point.

We are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. I'd like to suggest that we are expected to be both, or at least to see ourselves as both. We were born masterpieces. Every day of our lives is a work in progress.

A work in progress literally means partially completed; still in the production process. At the beginning of every baseball season my dad coached, he would tell his team, "Practice makes permanent." It wasn't until I was much older that I would hear the familiar, "Practice makes perfect." I quite like the permanent quote, actually.

I go back to that hospital. I go back to the day when I took my first steps. I had been practicing standing up with my abdominal muscles, and the strength I still had on my right side. On this day, I was absolutely determined to take a step. Before I did, the physical therapists ran to my room to grab Rand. As he walked into the therapy gym, he witnessed me take my first step. Then I took another. And another. As two therapists were on each side of the bars and another was immediately behind me with my wheelchair in case I fell, I took four steps. Then I heard cheering behind me. When I was turned around to face the crowd that had formed in that therapy gym, I saw my hospital neighbors. Most were in wheelchairs, paralyzed like me. Two were standing. All were cheering for me. In their minds, they were far from masterpieces. In their minds, they were broken. In my mind, they were the most inspiring masterpieces I had ever witnessed.

I beg you, please do not wait until you feel like a masterpiece to inspire others. Please recognize your worth now. Whether you know it or not, you are absolutely inspiring people today.

XOXOXO