Heidi Rae Coaching - Grumpy Pants

 Babes!!

What IF you are just a grumpy beast somedays? I find that this is a common occurrence for this Gigi lately! Yesterday was one of those. Let's try to dissect this:

1. I have a beautiful life. Therefore, I feel guilty when I have these days.

2. I have been so, overwhelmingly grumpy lately. No patience. Little empathy. Just really wanting to isolate, but not wanting to isolate. Irritated with very small things. REALLY irritated with bigger things.

3. Guilty for feeling those ways. (see #1)

4. Feeling hurt by some things going on around me that are completely out of my control, and not surprising.

5. Things at work feel very much out out of my control, which I struggle with. They feel unorganized because of this. I don't know from day to day who will be at work, even though the circumstances totally warrant this.

6. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. (see #1)

7. Because of the way that work is, I worry a lot about my brain and cognitive fatigue. Then I worry more. Then I feel guilty about worrying. (see #1)

8. I worry about my kids. They're grown adults. But the worry is different for this mama who raised them by myself. I miss them everyday. Again, the single mama in me. I feel guilty for feeling this way because they are amazing and great and living beautiful lives. (see #1)

9. The sunrise was so incredible this morning, but traffic was backed up and there was no chance I would get to work on time, so I was yelling at other cars from the comfort of my incredible and safe vehicle which I am so grateful for. Then I felt guilty for not just being grateful for everything else around me. (see #1)

10. I get home from work and there are dishes on the table or food left out on the counter or garbage left out and I get irritated and almost angry that "I have to clean it up," which no one has EVER said. Then I decide I better take care of that rather than going to the gym or for a walk and then I'm really mad. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way because we have everything we need, and want, and there is food for the kids and clothes for the kids and a big house for the kids. (see #1)

Time out for a minute:

When I was a single mama, raising my incredible boys, I would be a grumpy beast then too. I was grumpy because we lived in such small places where the four boys always had to share one room. (if only we could live somewhere nicer, I thought). I was grumpy because I was driving a car that I literally prayed every morning would actually get me to and from work. (if only I could have a reliable car, I would think) I was grumpy because I just always wanted to have a full fridge and freezer and pantry for my boys to be able to have whatever they wanted to eat. (if only I could buy snacks for my babies, I would think) I was grumpy because I had to work multiple jobs to be able to barely get by. (if only I only had to work one job, I would think).

Now, I have all of those wishes and I am still grumpy pants at times!!

Moral of the story: our circumstances don't actually determine our attitude! Now, they certainly give us emotions and thoughts. BUT, winning the lottery or being with the "perfect partner" doesn't determine whether or not we are grumpy.

Here's what I am doing right now to change my grumpy panties to big girl panties:

- First of all, bravo Heidi Rae for being aware! Seriously, I am so grateful that I am aware of all of this!

- Second - my vitals. So what if there is stuff out on the kitchen counter when I get home. Mama is going to the gym and Mama is walking for an hour. Period. Yes, we are dealing with the children and reinforcing them cleaning up after themselves. BUT, them not doing that is not making me grumpy pants. Me making their messes my priority in life IS. That's a choice I've made. No more.

I am drinking my daily intake goal of water every single day. My body needs it. My brain needs it. I am getting UV rays one way or the other - sitting outside for 20 minutes or going to a tanning salon. I am talking to God throughout the day, every day. I am intentionally serving others outside my home at least once a week. I am eating what feels good to my body, and I'm getting sleep.

- Third, I am reminding myself to stay out of other people's business. This is ongoing. It requires self-awareness and practice. It is worth it, though.

- Fourth, I am flipping the switch on my thoughts. Example: this morning when I was so irritated with traffic, I stopped myself. "What good is me being irritated going to do? It's not going to make traffic speed up, Sis. It's going to make you grumpy. You have no control over this traffic. Just drive."

Example Two: when I feel hurt by being left out of events that I feel I should actually be invited to because, like, it's "family,"I let myself feel it. It's valid to feel hurt or confused or sad. So, I cry. I let myself sit with those emotions for a day or so, then I move on from them. That doesn't mean it goes away. It usually doesn't. But I am better able to move forward once I've allowed myself to feel them.

Being grumpy pants is not something to beat ourselves up for. It just is. We just don't want to live there. Make sure you are aware of what your vitals are and make sure you're doing them. Make sure that you are aware of your moods and take the time to understand yourself. Show yourself grace.

XOXO

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