Recovery is a verb.
It's an active process.
It is in movement at all times, or it will cease to work.
As if you are peddling, peddling, peddling uphill and then you just stop peddling...
You will begin to roll backwards, back down the hill and then most likely tip over.
If you are anything like me, it won't be graceful.
And it only takes a minute.
Last week, I caught myself slipping...
Not peddling as hard as I needed to be in order to make it to the top of the hill.
I didn't crash-land helmetless.
I didn't slide all the way down the hill whilst trying to stop the handlebars from wobbling furiously back and forth.
But, I let up on the gas just a bit and for just a minute.
That's how addicts relapse.
I stopped whatever it was I was doing for just a moment and prayed out loud.
God, I see.
I see what I am doing and not doing.
First, I'm sorry.
Second, please give me the strength I need to stand up on this bike and get my momentum going again.
Many time, as addicts, we are given a LOT of assignments to do.
This is for several different reasons, I suppose.
I have homework weekly from my counselor.
I have separate homework from my group.
All of it is daily, hourly really.
I then record it and check in with my sponsors every day.
Last night in group, a couple was talking about how they feel like they are constantly doing the to-do's of recovery.
One of the reasons, I believe, we have so many to-do's in recovery is to keep us busy.
The busier we are doing good things, the less time we have for our addiction.
So, slipping on those to-do's can leave just enough time for us to relapse.
So, I stay busy.
With good things.
Not just to be busy... but to replace my empty time or addiction time with good things:
Gym
Sitting outside, reading and doing homework
Being with my kids and my nephews
Hiking
Coloring
Working
Serving
Baking
Cleaning
And in the midst of all of it, remembering that we are not alone.
That we are doing great... the best we can!
No comments:
Post a Comment