Forgiveness

Oh, forgiveness.

Such a loaded word.

Such an important concept.

Such a hard thing to do.

Such a hard thing to expect.

Speaking of "expect."

We should never, like ever, have expectations.

Ever.

Forgiveness is a tricky thing.

When my children were young, I taught them to say "I'm sorry," when they did something wrong.

Here is an example of my life as a single mom of four boys:

We were living in my mother's basement in Sandy.

Braxton was around 10 years old.

He was "with his friends" playing.

I got a call from a number I did not recognize.

It was a police officer.

He had Braxton, and another child at Fresh Market.

Braxton had stolen a leg brace from Fresh Market.

And batteries from Home Depot.

Yes, you read that right - a leg brace and batteries.

Priorities, People. Priorities.

The officer told me to meet him at Fresh Market.

When I arrived, I was NOT happy.

I immediately began "talking" to Braxton in front of the officer, his little friend and his friend's dad.

About 30.5 seconds into me "talking" to my child about stealing, the officer said, "So, I can see that you going home with your mom is going to be a much bigger punishment than any punishment I could give you."

Facts.

I made Braxton apologize to Fresh Market, to the officer, to his friend and to his friend's dad.

Note: the friend also stole some things. The dad asked if that kid could come home with me, too. Not today, Scooter. Not today.

Fresh Market accepted his apology, told him that they were proud of him for saying he was sorry, and that they hoped he'd make better choices in the future.

We then drove next door to Home Depot.

I walked in with him.

He had the batteries.

We walked up to the Customer Service Desk.

Braxton handed the lady the batteries, told her that he had stolen them and that he was sorry and wouldn't do it again.

This lady was not having it.

She immediately began yelling at my 10 year old son. Loudly. She told him how he was a "bad kid," that he would "never do anything good in his life," that he was a "thief, a robber, and a terrible person."

We left.

Moral of the story:

Braxton told both parties that he was sorry.

He gave back the merchandise.

He showed remorse.

One store accepted his apology.

The other did not.

Such is life.

Some people will accept our heartfelt apologies and others will not.

We also have day-to-day opportunities to forgive.

We get to choose if we are going to forgive people and things.

Forgiveness is not a one-time thing.

It's a process.

We have to continue to forgive.

Sometimes we have to forgive without ever receiving an apology.

Not for them, but for us.

Not one of us on this earth is even near perfect.

All of us are mortal.

All of us do things, say things every single day that are not right.

We hurt feelings.

We get angry.

We say things that are wrong on every level.

We might cut someone off on the freeway.

We judge others.

Everyone of us needs forgiveness.

Everyone of us needs to forgive.

It's a process.