Let It Go

How true is this!

Our minds and our hearts and our souls can only handle so much.

At some point, it becomes so heavy.

You have to let it go.

You have to find a way to let it go.

This is where I am right now:

I am so focused on counseling and therapy and really dealing with my past and my last 41 years.

It's a lot to deal with, Friends.

A lot.

And learning how to feel and what to do with feelings feels very heavy at times.

However, as I am so focused on these things, my longings and temptations regarding my addiction have gone away.

Like completely gone.

I am learning how to be friends with men.

With no dating, no relationship, no physical anything.

I am learning how to live a "normal" life, yet the perception from others and their ignorant opinions make it so hard.

It makes it feel so heavy.

I plan to take my children to therapy with me on Wednesday so that they can hear directly from my therapist and not what I say she says.

I also plan to have them begin going to 12 step.

I am learning that my huge strides are not met with praise from most.

I now need to learn to be okay with that.

I am learning that those who I thought would root for my rise, aren't. 

That is HEAVY.

I am learning that my living out in the open for everyone to see is exactly what was asked of me, but not what was expected, I guess.

It is SO heavy!