Be Better

I have said repeatedly that I have no question that I have hurt people in my life.

A lot of people.

In a lot of ways.

Never intentionally.

That, I can assure you.

But I have hurt people, nonetheless.

Boundaries that I have created since starting recovery and therapy have caused hurt.

Of this, I have no doubt.

This is not the intention of creating boundaries.

The intention of creating boundaries is to reduce hurt, pain, sadness, triggers, etc.

I want to tell you a very recent story.

One of love, compassion, kindness and charity.

In our family council on Sunday, my children told me of a situation with their father.

They discussed him moving in with us.

I told them that this would be fine.

They already had the logistics worked out in their heads.

Their teenaged heads.

For those of you who don't know, their father was quite abusive during our short time as a family with him. 

There have been moments when that has continued over the 16 years since we left that home.

There has been a lack of support and time from him over the years.

I choose to believe, however, that he is doing the best he can.

I believe that is how my children feel as well.

My children have chosen the high road with their father.

They have chosen to love him, have compassion for him, to help him and to nurture a possible relationship with him.

*I don't know that this living arrangement will actually come to fruition, but the fact that this was their idea is remarkably awe-inspiring to me*

I love this quote.

It is not easy.

Especially not in a world where we have the opportunity to be keyboard warriors and do and say things without ever showing our faces.

Voicing our convictions is a go-to for us.

As it ought to be.

But I have learned that when that would be unproductive, we just simply need to walk away.

Don't respond.

Let it go, as Elsa would say.