Councils

Kaydon attended one of my counseling sessions with me.

This was a very important thing.

There was a whole lot going on behind the scenes with other people.

Kaydon felt physically and mentally torn into pieces.

Kaydon has had a lot of very reasonable anger toward me.

This is not only understandable, but justified.

He met with my counselor and expressed that he had never been more proud of me in my recovery process.

However, he said that he simply had hope that he and I would one day have a good, loving adult relationship.

He mentioned that he wasn't sure that we would ever have a good mother/child relationship at that point.

I listened quietly.

What he said was real and raw and was a beautiful articulation of his feelings.

I wept silently, however I respected his feelings.

I sat and felt sad, ashamed, disappointed in myself and my lack of understanding of what my actions were really doing to my children - the humans I love the very most on this planet - the humans God entrusted me with.

I was jarred by actually hearing the words that he was saying.

I knew that this was how he felt.

But, hearing it.

Katryna discussed many things with him.

She asked him what he needed and wanted from me.

And from our home.

And from me in our home.

He was so open with her.

One of the things that was brought up was having weekly family councils, where everything is laid on the table.

We have done this.

It has been incredible!

We have discussed schedules - because they are crazy, goals, his Eagle Scout project, family issues, and holiday schedules.

It has been such a blessing.

And, the greater blessing of all --

Kaydon has allowed me to parent him.

He has allowed me to be his mom.

He has come to me for suggestions, ideas, comfort, and peace. 

He has come to me and asked me to take care of certain things for him.

He has come to me and asked me to go to things with him.

He is allowing me to by his mama.

I could not be more grateful.

And, he feels he can trust me.

Thank you, Heavenly Father.

He knows where I am at all times.

He knows I am working 15-20 hour days.

He knows I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.

What blessings.