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Babes!!
My Jody Girl posted this a couple of days ago and I have a couple of things to say about it!
First, as a coach, I 100% believe that it is our job to hold our own space. As a recovering validation addict, I am 100% in on holding our own space. I firmly believe that we are our own job. However, this.
Story time: a couple of days ago, there was a young lady who came into our office (at my full-time job). I wasn't sure of what the conversation was that she had with X, but I felt strongly that I needed to find out. I asked him as soon as she walked away from his counter. He said that she was just sobbing, asking for directions to a building and if she would be able to walk there. The answer was most certainly, "No. Not in the time you have to get there. And, under no time frame would you be able to walk there safely."
I immediately snapped into Mama Mode... you know the one where you NEED to make the tears stop and where you NEED to fix it right now.
I walked out to the lobby where she stood, crying. A lot of crying. Tears and snot kind of crying. I asked her what the situation was, then told her to get in my car and I would take her to the building she needed to be at. In the car, I told her that crying was no longer necessary, that we had this, that she was going to be just fine, that the AC would start working eventually, that I had her. I dropped her off, gave her instructions on how to get to her next destination and told her that she was just fine. THEN, I praised God for allowing me all of my difficulties, for putting people in my path along my journey over and over and over again who walked me through hard times and hard days and hard years. I praised God for allowing me to be the one to hold space for this frightened, anxious girl in those moments. AND, I praised God for allowing me room to learn to hold my own space so that my well was full enough to hold space for her in that moment.
I don't tell you this story to boast. I tell you this story because, had I not experienced 40 years of learning and growing and finding my way through people along my journey... had I not learned and practiced holding my own space... had I not developed compassion and empathy in all of those times that I probably cursed God for... had I not become self aware of my own needs, my own vitals, and the resources to take care of those things on my own, I would not have been available to hold space for her in just that one moment when she could not do it on her own.
Babes, fill your wells. Develop, through daily practice, the self awareness necessary to know what your well consists of. What is that you need every single day? What is it that you DON'T need every single day? What are your resources? Who are your resources? I got you!
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