Heidi Rae Coaching - Love Languages

 Babes!!

I recently had a one-person party... aka Pity Party. Once I was AWARE that it was a one-person party... aka Pity Party, I said to myself, "Self... what is it that you need?" I, of course, went through my vitals: Do you need to move your body? Do you need some water? Are you hungry? Do you need some sunlight? Are you tired? I still wasn't sure why I had thrown myself this party. Then I said, "Self, do you just need some love?" And that was it. I figured it out. I needed some love.

I started to think about the five love languages:

Positive Affirmations

Physical Touch

Quality Time

Service

Gifts

I realized that we have the ability to give ourselves the five love languages. I had never thought of it this way. I always thought that I would need someone else to provide these FOR me. I had relied on others to affirm my awesomeness. I had relied on other people to do nice things for me, to want to spend time with me...

While having people in our lives to tell us we are doing a good job or to give us flowers is super nice, sitting around waiting for that is not advised! Do it for your dang self! Rather than throwing a pity party for ourselves, we can throw a positive affirmation party for ourselves. It's far more fun!

Heidi Rae Coaching - Party In The Process

Babes!!

I don't know about you, but I find so much comfort in the word, "process." We are ALL in the process... on the journey... strapped into our training wheels. If we had all the answers and did all the things, there would be no purpose left in us being here.

Everyone's process is different. Everyone's process is necessary. Everyone's process is HARD. Everyone's process brings to light our purpose. The party is in the process!

I got married. I got divorced. I got married again. I got divorced again. I was cheated on. I was cheated on lots and lots. I was abused. I was in toxic relationships over and over again. I learned that my worth is infinite. It is not based on those experiences. I learned that I can trust my gut instinct. I learned that I can have boundaries and I can feel great about that boundaries. I learned that it's my job to make myself happy.

I am a single mom. I have had to work multiple jobs at the same time for a very long time to support us. My kids have had 30 operations. I learned that I can multi-task like a boss. I learned that my heart is big enough to love and nurture and care for my babies. I learned that I can be self-reliant.

I had a stroke. I was paralyzed, head to toe, on my left side. I had to poop in a bed pan. I could not wipe my own butt. I learned to roll over. I learned to sit up. I learned to walk, then to squat, then to climb stairs, then to drive, then to go back to work.

Through each and every process, I have learned compassion, empathy, strength, self-love, discipline, and JOY. I have learned that I am responsible for my own happiness. I have learned what I will and will not accept in my life. I have learned to do better and be better.

Yes, it normally takes me a WHOLE LOT of lessons in my process to get the message. But, it's a process. Process: "A SERIES of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end."

The party is in the process. The process is unending. The process is necessary. Embrace the process!

 

Heidi Rae Coaching - Your Tribe

 Babes!!

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it your family... Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."

Note: Three is just a number. If you have one person who knows you and loves you just the way you are - you are fortunate! If you have two, you are fortunate. The number doesn't matter here.

These are the people who are the roots to your tree. These are the people who, when you speak your truth, they stick around. They are the ones you want to have in your blanket fort. These are the ones who remind you WHO YOU ARE... the ones who remind you that a bad day is not a bad life... the ones that make you feel the most like you... the ones who see every part of you and love you still. These are also the ones who tell you when you're being a dumb dumb. These are the ones who will not allow you to fail... they'll watch you fall, stand back while you throw yourself a one-person party, then reach their hand out, dust off your butt and walk with you until you can walk alone again.

We are not meant to do this journey by ourselves. We just aren't. Some people are only meant to step along your path for a very short moment; some for a season; others for eternity. That's your tribe.

Heidi Rae Coaching - Your Narrative

 Babes!!

We've talked about true and false self. We've talked about limiting beliefs. We've talked about our vitals.

Emotions create thoughts and vice versa. Most often, it's the vice versa - our thoughts create emotions, emotions create physical feelings, feelings create actions... it's a hell of a cycle. We just begin to go around and around and around until we have left our true self back on the side of the road about 48 miles ago and we are at a point where we are ONLY thinking false stories. Our narrative has become full of lies that our body is not feeling the effects from.

Tip: WE CAN CHANGE OUR NARRATIVE.

Tip #2: It's OUR job to change the narrative!!

I love this for a few reasons. The biggest is that I have control over what I am thinking. Yes, outside influences will always be a part of our journey in life. But, we get to decide what we give our time and energy to. That includes our thoughts.

Key #1: Self-awareness

Everything good begins with self-awareness. Ask yourself about your vitals. Ask yourself what story it is that you are telling yourself, then go through the questions: Is it true? Is it really true? Do I need to do something with it, or let it go?

Key #2: Vitals

Are you tired? Are you hungry? Have you moved your body? Have you had enough water? Do you need you-time? Do you need physical touch? (Whatever your vitals are) Then, do what it is you feel you need. YOU can do this!! SO often when I go through my vitals, I realize that they are all about me. I can take care of them myself.

Key #3: Brain Power

When our brains tell stories, they actually create a physiological brain wave that synchronize with our emotions. When we disrupt those false stories and tell a different story, we will see things differently. Flip the dang switch!!

YOU have the power, the tools, the courage to change your narrative. It will be a daily activity!! So lucky! We are bombarded with stories... make sure the ones that you are telling yourself are TRUE, powerful, and good!

Heidi Rae Coaching - Holding Your Space

Babes!!

My Jody Girl posted this a couple of days ago and I have a couple of things to say about it!

First, as a coach, I 100% believe that it is our job to hold our own space. As a recovering validation addict, I am 100% in on holding our own space. I firmly believe that we are our own job. However, this.

Story time: a couple of days ago, there was a young lady who came into our office (at my full-time job). I wasn't sure of what the conversation was that she had with X, but I felt strongly that I needed to find out. I asked him as soon as she walked away from his counter. He said that she was just sobbing, asking for directions to a building and if she would be able to walk there. The answer was most certainly, "No. Not in the time you have to get there. And, under no time frame would you be able to walk there safely."

I immediately snapped into Mama Mode... you know the one where you NEED to make the tears stop and where you NEED to fix it right now.

I walked out to the lobby where she stood, crying. A lot of crying. Tears and snot kind of crying. I asked her what the situation was, then told her to get in my car and I would take her to the building she needed to be at. In the car, I told her that crying was no longer necessary, that we had this, that she was going to be just fine, that the AC would start working eventually, that I had her. I dropped her off, gave her instructions on how to get to her next destination and told her that she was just fine. THEN, I praised God for allowing me all of my difficulties, for putting people in my path along my journey over and over and over again who walked me through hard times and hard days and hard years. I praised God for allowing me to be the one to hold space for this frightened, anxious girl in those moments. AND, I praised God for allowing me room to learn to hold my own space so that my well was full enough to hold space for her in that moment.

I don't tell you this story to boast. I tell you this story because, had I not experienced 40 years of learning and growing and finding my way through people along my journey... had I not learned and practiced holding my own space... had I not developed compassion and empathy in all of those times that I probably cursed God for... had I not become self aware of my own needs, my own vitals, and the resources to take care of those things on my own, I would not have been available to hold space for her in just that one moment when she could not do it on her own.

Babes, fill your wells. Develop, through daily practice, the self awareness necessary to know what your well consists of. What is that you need every single day? What is it that you DON'T need every single day? What are your resources? Who are your resources? I got you!

#COACH #coaching #processaddictionrecovery #selflove #toxicrelationships #singleparenting

 

Heidi Rae Coaching - It's OK To Feel Sad

Babes!!

As someone who didn't learn about emotions until the fourth decade of my life, I had always categorized emotions as good or bad. What I now know to be anger, frustration, fatigue, sadness, fear, etc. were bad and they were to be avoided at ALL cost! In my mind, if I felt "bad" emotions, I was failing! Something was WRONG.

In reality, we can totally be ruling the world and still having these emotions!!!

It's OK to feel sad when you have set a boundary! It's OK to feel sad when you say goodbye to something or to someone that is no longer serving your true self. It's OK to feel sad when you choose something better over something good.

Sadness doesn't mean you are failing, or that you have made the wrong choice! It also doesn't mean that you will be sad forever! It just means you're sad.

#coach #coaching #toxicrelationships #singleparenting #selflove #addictionrecovery